Today was Logan’s 1st Thanksgiving!!! He slept through most of the eating in my Moby wrap though 🙂 . We did not tell the family. I had a small moment of weakness where I wanted to since we were all gathered, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t ruin Lucas’ birthday like that. I want him to have a great birthday. I want Lucas to remember he had a good 6th birthday with everyone happy and smiling.

We took a ton of pictures! We made sure everyone help him and tried to get pictures of Logan being happy. He is a mommy’s boy though so being happy in someone else’s arms does not last long.

Tonight we did the first bath with both boys! It was so much fun for both of them 🙂 We took so many pictures. We have decided to make this a weekly ritual. We want Lucas (and for us as well) to have so many happy memories with Logan. I will say it was very interesting fitting the baby tub in our larger tub and making sure it didn’t float.

We are also thinking about doing a bucket list with Logan. Let him try a solid food, lollipop, make finger paintings, etc. Let him experience things early in case we all don’t get the chance later.

Today feels like a dream though. A really crappy dream… I feel like at any moment we will wake up and none of this will have happened.

Last night I broke down in the nursery. We moved Lucas out so we could move Logan in. I repainted two of the walls and redecorated it. I sat in the floor clinging to the blanket I made him.  Brett came in to comfort me. He told me to get it all out because I had to pull it together for our sons. He is absolutely right. I have two boys and a husband that depend on me. So I put on my happy face and cherish each moment.

Logan has come into our lives for a reason. A purpose. I can see that and I am at peace with that. I am not at peace with him being sick and leaving us early 😦

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