I sit here reminiscing through tears of everything that has transpired over the past 12 months. We started this year being 11 weeks pregnant and not knowing how we were going to afford a baby. The morning sickness was insane and I lost 15lbs altogether. Ugh. In March, we were ecstatic to find we were having another boy! We had already decided we wanted to name him after his great grandpa, Red, who passed when Lucas was 6 months old. Thus we have our baby boy, Logan Red.
In June, we had a great untraditional baby shower thanks to Brett’s family and my best friend. This summer was a scorcher: it was hard to get out and do things with Lucas. So we spent time indoors watching movies. July 3rd we found out we were going to have to be induced due to borderline low fluid. We had a wonderful 4th. We tried made the most of the 5th with Lucas, taking him to the Discover Center and picking up a new dino Lego set to build while we were gone having Logan.
Logan entered our world at 5:30pm on July 6th. He was automatically a mommy’s boy, never wanting to lay anywhere but on me. Through the weeks and months he has only become more of a clinger, always wanting someone to hold him and play with him. At first I resisted this, because I was suddenly tied down. No one could watch him but me. Now, I enjoy it. He lets others hold him a bit more, but always comes back to mommy.
I never knew such a deep love could exist. He changed us. We found out what a great big brother and wonderful helper Lucas can be. Brett has been a wonderful father to both boys and has been such a great help to me when I am not able to handle all the household duties. Logan especially changed me. He has taught me how to love deeper and be a better mom to Lucas. He has been constantly teaching me that life cannot be run on a schedule. You have to learn to go with the flow. He has done this through breastfeeding on demand, severe jaundice at 3 days old, a sudden hernia, reflux, and now SMA.
Today we do not have much planned. I breastfed for the last time this morning. He was only able to be on for about 5 minutes but I got to see his beautiful hazel eyes look up at me again. Today will be the last day I pump for Logan to drink. I think I will wake him at 11:50ish and watch the big ball drop on TV while I feed him his midnight meal. Start the New Year cuddling with him 🙂
2012 was one the most unexpected years we have ever had. We have had great highs of love and happiness when Logan was born to the deep dark lows of realizing our baby boy’s muscles are progressively getting weaker and he may not be with us much longer.
We don’t know what 2013 holds. We hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Our only resolutions are to hold our boys tighter, love them deeper, make more wonderful memories, and know that we are truly fortunate to have such a handsome baby boy with a smile as bright as the sun and a love deeper than some will ever know.
To those reading, may you and your family have a New Year full of happiness, love, great memories, and good health. Best Wishes in 2013 from the Ruth Family!
Photo bomb from the year 🙂