The past 48 hours

Oh goodness where to start. I did a few live updates yesterday on Facebook, but I will talk about it here.

Two nights ago we did bath time with both boys. Its a time they both love and Logan tends to rest a bit better. Out of the blue, Lucas asked “Mommy, when Logan dies, will he have a grave stone we can visit?” It knocked the air out of me. I question if time stood still because it felt like it. Brett and I have been very careful to not discuss this matter in front of him. Most of the time if I can, I will take our Dr phone calls in another room with Logan so Lucas doesn’t have to hear it all.

But the question was asked. I gently told him, me and Daddy haven’t talked about it much but that we do plan on having a stone we can visit. He talked about things he wanted to do with Logan still. Then he told me, kind of tearing up, that he wanted to say goodbye. I normally don’t stop him talking, but I did this time and told him if we know when, he will definitely be able to. But that isn’t something to worry or be scared about. He smiled, kissed Logan goodnight and asked if we could watch Ratatouille in the morning. Later, he talked to Brett some and cried with him. But when we put him to bed he seemed better. Nothing like that has been mentioned since.

As much as I hated that conversation, as much as we both did, we are so grateful that Lucas felt comfortable enough with us to ask us those questions.

The scary thing is later that night Logan’s oxygen level dropped to 86 twice in a 30 min period. He woke up crying before the alarm went off. We know that crying can reduce his oxygen, but even being hysterical his levels do not drop below 90. Our pulse ox did not record the event so we were given a special pulse ox to record all night. I’ll touch on those results in a moment.

Yesterday morning we went in for a capillary blood gas test. St Louis ordered on 12/11 and we were repeating it to see if there was a big change. The respiratory therapist said that is was normal and we were relieved! Turns out she wasn’t quite right. From what I understand it was on the lower end of normal and his CO2 levels are higher than they were 3 weeks ago.

We ended up going to the Dr office that evening just to be sure everything was checking out ok. He sounds like his nose is stopped up, but it is clear Its odd. Dr said his lungs sounded clear and everything checked out great! We did go ahead with a chest x-ray just to be on the safe side. It looked normal with no signs of distress.

So during all this came the mad rush to see if he needed oxygen. That is where the special recording pulse ox comes in. We received the results today, and while they see the dips he did not go under 90 last night! So on one hand YAY!!!! On the other we are back to square one of why he isn’t sleeping well and suddenly crying out as if he was scared.

We received the epinephrine today and a nurse is coming out tomorrow morning to administer the RSV shot. It has taken over a week. For those who need epi pens, I can’t imagine how frustrating this shortage has been for you. Even our home healthcare ran out of epi pens!

Today Logan was fussy. We did watch Ratatouille since we didn’t get a chance yesterday. I hate that we get the shots tomorrow morning, but I hope he is feeling better by Sunday because…

Sunday he turns 6 months old!!!! I cannot believe our baby boy is going to be 6 months. We are having a Mickey Mouse themed party with a special dinosaur cake made by Stacey’s Sweets in Ozark. She is specially making it for us because usually she is on vacation. We are having family over and doing pizza. The big thing we are looking forward to is fireworks!!! We live outside city limits and have a few left over from July 4th. We are excited!!!