Thanks to my wonderful husband, I left the house today. Alone. For the first time in over 8 months.
Yes, you read that right. 8 months. Many have asked why I don’t get out and its honestly because Logan doesn’t tolerate it well. Today, I left right after he was down for his afternoon nap. I knew I had approximately 30-45min to go to Harter House, get fruit for Lucas, stop by our PO Box to check for postcards and possibly get a sweet tea from McDonalds before he woke up and ate. And by golly I did it all!!!
On the way to the grocery story, I thought about what I should be doing with the alone time. Is there something I should be pondering? Are there plans for next week I’m forgetting? Because it is a very busy week. The way home was completely different though. It felt somewhat freeing to be out by myself. I rolled down the windows, turned the radio up to a deafening level, and jammed out. My apologies to the neighbors who wondered why in the world Maroon 5’s Payphone was playing so loudly haha.
While jamming in X, I had a moment where I felt so happy and free I almost started crying. Then a tear fell because I felt guilty for my happiness. I tried to shake the feeling though because I shouldn’t feel guilty. I haven’t been truly alone in over 8 months. Its ok to get away for just a few minutes to get a new perspective. And yet again, that is easier said than done.
This week is very busy! We have Hospice coming by now. We met our RN, aide, and social worker last week. They are all very sweet ladies. Its nice to know someone will be here to check on Logan without having to go out. So twice a week, our RN will come by and check Logan’s vitals. Also twice a week we have an aide that comes and sits/plays with Logan while I try to get a few things done. Thursday will be two weeks since the surgery! It seems unbelievable. They will be checking to be sure the area is healing well.
Saturday we are going to a local radio station (Power 96.5) to do a pre-recorded interview for Childrens Miracle Networks telethon coming up in March. They have been very understanding of our situation and will only be in contact with the DJ. And Sunday KSPR wants to do a follow up interview with Logan after his surgery. This seems to be a monthly trend…but I’m ok with that. I’m more than ok because they have done wonders helping us spread awareness about SMA.
Well…I should probably sleep. Sleep comes easy, but does not stay long unfortunately.