Hard times will always reveal true friends


Today, I saw these two pictures/sayings on Facebook. It made me stop and think. “Hard times will always reveal true friends” is a saying that has held true over my life. This isn’t to say anything bad about anyone or to point fingers at any one individual. Its about realizing the ones who are truly there for you and learning to let go of the ones who aren’t. I just had a conversation about this topic a few days ago with a friend I met through this SMA journey. Her little girl is also going through this disease. We discussed that those who we lean on now are not who we thought they would be. If you would have told me this time last year the struggles we are facing and asked who would be here and how I am dealing with them, I would have laughed. I would have listed off a few people, told you that I would be a hysterical mess and then ask why in the world you would wish something like that on me.

Sometimes you outgrow people. Sometimes they weren’t truly there at all. Sometimes they want to be there, but just not sure how. My friend’s little girl is not doing great right now, and its hard to find the right words to say to her. I understand that people don’t really know what to say to me, because I don’t always know what to say to my friend and I am going through the same dang thing!

At the same time, hard times reveal relationships that would have never come about any other way. I cannot begin to list all the people we have met and now have close friendships with that I am convinced would have never happened without Logan’s diagnosis. The most incredible thing that has happened so far is experiencing the support of complete strangers, both local and abroad.

Locally, the school system has sponsored two fundraisers for Logan. I mentioned a while back about “Kisses for Logan”, a fundraiser where they sold $.50 lollipops and delivered them to the students on Valentines day.  A certain group of individuals stepped up and made sure every student in the school received a sucker. Some parents sponsored an entire class to be sure they received one. All in all, almost 3,000 lollipops were sold and delivered all for Logan. They also told Logan’s story and passed a bucket during homecoming. It warms my heart that they have helped us spread awareness to even more who may have not heard about SMA. In total, they raised $1700 for Logan! Never in a million years would I have ever imagined this!

What is amusing, is that Brett and I have been trying to move out of Strafford for close to three years now. Each time we have a plan in place, something happens that puts us back a year. The first time, I lost my job. The second, I became pregnant against the odds. The third, Logan’s diagnosis. And yet, this community has outstretched its arms and given more support than I could have ever imagined.

Abroad, we have had so many individuals give to help cover Logan’s expenses. From  postcards, to jewelry, chocolate, and cupcakes, to the online donations through fundrazr, and the shirts that help spread awareness: So many have taken time to help us. With the online store, we have had 53 orders with 107 items waiting to be printed. We were concerned about having 25 items to start printing! I think I am still in shock over how much everyone loves the design and wants to help spread awareness!

In the end, you never know what is going to happen. And you can only speculate who will be there when everything seems to crash down around you. Don’t be sad if the ones you expected to stay aren’t there. Rather, cherish those who are still there and welcome the new friendships that have come about. You never know when that small message over facebook or through email will change your life forever.

2 thoughts on “Hard times will always reveal true friends

  1. I’m one of those that follow you, I worked with Brett at Northstar and I think about you guys daily. My father in law who was diagnosed with ALS once said almost the exact same thing you did in this post. I don’t know what to say either other than May the Lord bless you and keep you, and on your hard days may He turn His face to shine on you and give you peace. May he pave the road you must walk with an abundance of servants that give you their love and time. Tell Brett I don’t see him as often as I should, but he has a friend that should he ever call me with a need, I’d do whatever I could to help.


  2. I am so glad I discovered your Blog and Facebook through a friend’s Facebook postings. As a mom, I cannot even fathom your daily challenges. I love your honesty, and you write with such clarity. This post really related to me, even though my situation was different. My husband was diagnosed with brain cancer when he was 25, died at the age of 27. My best of friends, being young as well, really couldn’t relate and comfort me and became very distant. It was actually a group of neighbors I had never met before, that “took us in”. They helped make sure my daughter and myself ate. They poured drinks for me while giving me room to grieve. They treated my then 3 year old girl with a temporarily-mentally-absent mother like their own child, and me as well. It was the love of people I barely know, that I thank from the bottom of my heart to getting through that first year alone.

    Sometimes our closer friends don’t know how to react. It isn’t that they aren’t there, that they don’t care, that they aren’t true friends. It is often just a case of they don’t even know what to say to you because they view your situation as being so fragile, the same way you saw yourself falling apart before you had to be strong. Some situations are just so heartbreaking to some that it distances them because they feel there are no words good enough. All I am saying is, don’t be hurt over friends you thought would be there more not being there. And thank God every day for giving you people who can be strong with you, who can connect with you, and who do strengthen you. You sound like you have this part down: letting go with a dose of serenity.

    Your baby boy, Logan, is so perfectly beautiful, and I hope you know that you bring a greater good to this world by sharing him with us. Every day I pray for your family. I pray for the families you meet along the way, and I pray for awareness and advancement of treatments for this disease. I also thank God for giving you support and the people who want to help and spread the cause. And…for the amazing people all over, who are giving you such great memories to share with your baby….they deserve a million thank yous.



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