Can time stand still?

The weekend was rough. Logan continued to be fussy. For several days, during the first 2 hours of sleep, his oxygen dips down to 86/87 for about 10 seconds them pops back up. This happens about every 15-20 minutes. After 2 hours, he is just fine the rest of the night.
He has not been running a fever. We thought he was teething but nothing is even swollen yet he has continued to chew on his fingers.

Our hospice nurse came by yesterday. She was concerned because he didn’t have any belly sounds. His stomach wasn’t distended or hard, which was very good. However, we still weren’t sure what was going on. We did a saline enema to see if constipation was the issue. Not much came out but he seemed a little happier afterwards.

He slept better last night, but still not good. He would wake up almost every hour and whine. He didn’t want to eat and didn’t want his paci. I would pat his back and turn on his nature sounds and he would eventually give back in to sleep.

They brought us an oxygen machine yesterday evening. I went to put Logan on it and realized we didn’t have the right cannulas. So it was about 3 hours later we received the right ones. By this time, Logan was already asleep for a few hours and didn’t drop in oxygen once. I laughed when I told Brett this. We now have an oxygen machines and he didn’t drop last night or tonight lol.

So on top of all of this, Brett visited with a local funeral home yesterday afternoon to start doing some preplanning. While we hope for the best, we plan for the worst. I would rather have everything planned and still be able to hold my baby boy than to plan everything without the comfort of him near. We have briefly discussed everything and have a loose plan in place.

Can time just stand still? Can we freeze right now? I can’t imagine life with out my baby boy. Plus, Logan is getting so big! Time is going by too quickly…

10 thoughts on “Can time stand still?

  1. Logan is just so precious, Tia. And I breathe a prayer for your sweet little guy and your whole family as I see FB updates and read your blog.

    God bless you!



  2. While I am praising each moment you get-it also breaks my heart when I thnk ahead. You have been in my prayers since you posted to the birth board. I will continue to pray for a miracle. He is so beautiful. You’re a great Mom.


  3. I am so in awe of you & your family. Your love is so amazing & inspiring. Thank you for sharing Logan with us. My son was born on July 16th and I love him more & more everyday. Seeing your journey has been both heartbreaking & uplifting. I promise to remember & appreciate the little moments more. The days go by quickly but what you have done with them will echo through time.


  4. You are such an amazing & inspiring family. Love that you appreciate the good moments & positive in every obstacle. Saying an extra prayer for you guys tonight.


  5. Oh momma. I cant even imagine. My heart sunk last paragraph. Try try try to put that in the farthest corner of your mind and enjoy this moment.


  6. I saw your link from the July 2012 birth board (my daughter was born July 23rd) and I’ve been following you for the last few months. I am so touched by your story. We’ve been praying for your little family in hope that you will get to spend many many more precious moments with Logan. Logan is blessed to have you as his mother. You are so strong and courageous and you are doing a fantastic job.

    God bless you and your family and especially little Logan.


  7. my heart breaks for you and your family for your sweet precious Logan. I can honestly say I know the place u r at and I pray for your strength. I am sending my thoughts and prayers for Logan.


  8. Your little Logan is the sweetest little thing. We have a Logan too and both our boys say prayers every night for all of our “baby friends” that are going through hard times. I couldn’t imagine having to make those types of plans, but I think you’re going about it the right way (if there is one). That way you can spend every moment possible with him. God bless your little family.


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