What a week

The past week has been full of ups and downs. As I sit here typing this (and thinking about the Easter post I need to do), I’m watching Logan nap while hooked up to his feeding pump. He was watching his evening edition of Little Einsteins to keep him distracted. (Check out the jammies the Easter bunny brought! 😉 )Image

We have had to work harder than usual to make sure Logan is happy and comfortable. We have a few pain meds on hand in case he cries out in pain. We are figuring out if it is reflux or nerve pain. There have been discussions of trying to get a hold of donor milk from Kansas City for Logan to use and just supplement with formula if needed. Zantac isn’t working well and prilosec is very expensive apparently. I am hoping to hear tomorrow about a new antacid though.

We had to use the oxygen machine more than I would have liked, but it helped him sleep. Last Tuesday we had to use the oxygen machine during two naps and all night. His oxygen was in the mid to upper 80’s and just would not come back up. I sat with tears in my eyes while I watched him sleep thinking of how unfair this is and why does this have to happen to my sweet baby boy.

Wednesday morning Logan was drinking from his bottle and it took him over 10 min to drink half an ounce. He didn’t act hungry or fussy so I just let him be for a bit. Then suddenly all of these thoughts came to mind. I realized the past several days he hasn’t sucked his pacifier but rather it sat in his mouth. He wanted it there, but it was like he couldn’t suck on it. I looked at the bottle and thought of how he hadn’t been eating as much recently. And then it hit me…he is losing (or rather has lost) his suck. In that moment, as Brett and I realized it, devastation set in. I couldn’t even think. I just sat and stared at Logan while he was watching an episode of Little Einsteins. Then he laughed and cooed at the screen and I smiled to myself. In the midst of this happening, he is still enjoying himself. Starting that morning, he has been completely on pump feedings aside from an early morning bottle if he feels the need to suck.

Something amazing happened on Wednesday night though. We were in a stressful situation that we removed ourselves from. As I mentioned up above, Logan was on oxygen the night before and his levels stayed around 97. Wednesday night, he didn’t need it. In fact, his levels were 96/97 all night with no assistance! Thursday he did great and tolerated his feeds from the pump really well!

Since then, his stats have looked really good. Its amazing, this time last week I told a few close friends that I was fairly confident he would turn 9 months , but I felt we would be extremely fortunate if he reached 10. Anything can happen tomorrow, but he is happy, tolerating his feeds well and his oxygen hasn’t dipped once since Tuesday and being on the oxygen machine.

Saturday we celebrate 9 months. I’m not sure what we will do. I’m hoping the weather will be nice though. Sometimes I can’t believe we have made it as far as we have. Baby boy has some fight in him, that is for sure!

18 thoughts on “What a week

  1. My daughter told me about Logan and what your doing. You are wonderful parents. Every time I read your posts I get tears in my eyes. I think what your doing is wonderful.


  2. Praying for your family and little Logan. I think about him often and know that God hears my cries on his behalf. Stay strong.


  3. I too have TONS of frozen milk that I wish a had a way of sharing! My son’s reflux finally got under control with omeprazole compound, it is a bit expensive but not horrific. I am praying for little logan and all of you daily!


  4. I have tons of frozen breast milk as well. I’d give it to Logan in a heartbeat. However, I’m in Ontario, CA, and not sure about the rules for breastmilk crossing the border. If you want it, it’s yours. Your little boy warms my heart, and your story breaks it. If there is anything at all I can help you with, pls let me know.

    Thinking of you always,


  5. My daughter, Jenny, told me about Logan, you and your husband. Logan was born around the same time as Caitlyn arrived and I have been following Logan’s progress ever since. I love to see Logan’s beautiful pictures and his smiles and am amazed at the strength you and hubby have shown throughout this. My heart breaks for you, but try to remember that Logan will always be with you whether here on earth or in spirit. God be with you all.


  6. I am praying for you and your family every day you have all touched the hearts and lives of so many and I am amazed by your family’s courage and by Logans sweet face every day! Keep strong you have the support and love of us all!!!


  7. Just wanted you to know we are all thinking of you and praying for your precious family!! Big hugs from the cake shop girls!! xoxo


  8. i’m not a great milk producer.. but i do know that st lukes east on the plaza, where I delivered my baby has a milk donation place, so i’d try there. since it’s donation, maybe it’ll be cheap as well…


  9. If you asked for frozen breast milk to be shipped on dry ice to you on The Leaky Boob facebook page you would have it coming out of your ears. I don’t know you, probably never will. But I want you to know I am praying… for the God of our Lord Jesus Christ to comfort you. Such grief and joy mingled… Your precious son is so beautiful.


  10. You might be able to get bm from Eats on Feets or Human Milk for Human Babies on Facebook. Just a thought. It might help his little reflux problems. Bless your family. He is so precious. I get teary with every update on Facebook. This just reminds me how every day is truly a gift.


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