This mornings scare

And boy, what a scare it was. The car ride last night had a rough moment outside of Sullivan, MO. Logan seemed to recover from it and we made it home safe, albeit late. He went right back to sleep after we laid him down in his bed. At 4am he started having issues and was uncomfortable. We gave him his meds and he slept on and off until 9am. At 9:15 he started getting really fussy and I realized he was hungry so I went to get his formula and hook it all up. Less then 5 min later, Logan had an all out meltdown. You could see the beads of sweat on his forehead. He was still on .5ml oxygen that he had to sleep with last night but suddenly his oxygen dropped to 88.

I went in to a different mode. I moved him from his bed onto ours. Since he had been sweating, his lambskin was all wet. I laid him down and turned on Little Einsteins. By this point, he had calmed down. However, he suddenly dropped in front of me. Without thinking I rushed to his oxygen machine and turned his oxygen up by .5 liter. He dropped down to 52 out of no where. He turned grey and very disoriented. I turned him up to 1.5 liter. He would climb back up to the 90’s then drop. While he was doing this, I called our hospice nurse for her to come. I called Brett and he left work immediately. I went to turn his oxygen up a bit more and watched him to see if he changed.

Then the oddest thing happened. I had his entire life flash before my eyes. It felt like I stood there looking at him forever and I couldn’t move. I saw us at the zoo yesterday and how happy he was on the train. I saw his birthday this past weekend and his frosting covered lips. I thought about what we hadn’t done yet, like the garden stone that is in our closet. Then with tears streaming I wondered if he knew how much I loved him. After that thought, my body moved and I went over to him on the bed, moved the laptop just a bit and picked him up to hold him. Within the next 5 min, he stabilized at 98, Brett came home. Logan smiled at him and we just and loved on him. Our hospice nurse arrived not too long after that.

An hour later Logan looked tired but was holding steady. His oxygen hit 100 so we took him down a bit. We were able to wean him back down to .5 liter for his nap. He slept for 3.5 hours! I hooked him up to his feed and he took it well. Slept through the whole 4.5 ounces.

He woke up around 2pm and just now laid back down.

I don’t regret the sudden decision to up his oxygen, even though that went against what Brett and I had originally planned when discussing situations like this. However, Brett agreed with my decision and felt I did the right thing wholeheartedly. That was comforting 🙂

Logan wasn’t ready to go yet. This afternoon after his nap, he looked up and smiled at me with the biggest smile. We danced a bit in the living room (while there is room before our new couch gets here with a special place for me and Logan!) and his smile lifted my spirits. It wasn’t Logan’s time to go yet today. He just had a tiring day yesterday and needed a little help resting. Hoping tomorrow will be better.

I needed to add a happy picture after this post. This is from Logan’s birthday weekend when we went to the zoo last Sunday. He was stylin’ 🙂
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17 thoughts on “This mornings scare

  1. Your strength amazes me! Sending comforting thoughts and prayers from our family to yours.
    Love,
    A fellow July 2012 BBC friend.

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  2. so scary! I’m so glad he’s back to his smiling self! I think you did the right thing as well, if that matters 🙂 I agree, he was just tired from yesterday! Love to you all!

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  3. I love you guys. You guys are a very strong mom and dad Logan is very lucky. Even though this post made me cry. I know your decision was right. Stay strong.

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  4. I have been following Logan’s story and little Logan is one amazing little boy. And you are one unbelievable wonderful mommy. You are making his time you his family so amazing. The bucket list is a really good idea. Its wonderful that you are getting to do so many things with your boys. Logan knows how much you love him, they always know, especially in hard times. He knows he is one lucky little man to have you as a mommy. Im trying to think of something amazing thats not on his bucket list. Lots of love and many many prayers from oklahoma.

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  5. Wow, I am speechless from the tears. Thank you so much for allowing all of us to be a part of your little miracle’s journey. I fell blessed to know such an amazing story and an incredibly strong family. I know Logan also feels blessed that he has been given the best life imaginable!

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  6. I am so glad Logan is feeling better now. Everything you did while he was struggling was right, try to remember that. I really admire your strength and endurance, and believe me Logan does know that you both love him and he loves you back. Hang in there. May God be with you all.

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  7. He’s so precious. Glad he is okay for now. Mom, I agree with the others..whatever choices you make with love are the right choices.

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  8. Hi, I know Logan’s story from FB and from July 2012 BBC board. I pray for him every chance I get, and wanted to let you know I ask everyone I know to pray for him too. He is a darling little guy, and tough, like his mama and daddy. I know this fight is hard, but you guys are handling it with such dignity.

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  9. I cannot imagine what you’re going through. You are amazing parents and Logan feels your love and that’s all he needs. Praying for all of you.

    From,

    BBC July 2012 mommy

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  10. Yes you made the right decision! Your family is such an inspiration. Thoughts and prayers, mama. You guys are on my mind every single day.
    -BBC July 2012 mama

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