Rollercoaster- part two

Picking up where I left off…On Sunday Logan was only awake maybe a total of 4 hours. 2 of those was around noon when we did a garden stone with him. He was alert, more alert than Saturday, even though he wasn’t awake much. We talked with our doctors and decided maybe it was the medicine doing this. Especially since it was like he wanted to wake up but just couldn’t. So we took him off the Ativan (anti-anxiety) and lowered his dose of gabbapentin (nerve pain). His heartrate was also very high on Saturday, even while resting. It was still high Sunday as well but now we questioned the role of the medicine. We had a bit more hope compared to Saturday, but we were still very cautious.

Brett stayed home today and yesterday. Yesterday Logan slept until late in the morning but did much better. He was awake a lot more, but started to cry out in the evening. We did get some smiles though!!! We have started to use a pain med around the clock to try and keep him comfortable. Also trying to find a balance with the gabbapentin.

Logan decided to wake up at 1:45am this morning. I turned on Little Einsteins because he was wide awake. He smiled so big! ❤ It made my heart so happy! 2013-04-16 01.39.04

He slept in until 10am again this morning. Its thrown off his feeds a little bit, but he is tolerating them better. He has been awake a couple of times and has given us some smiles. And!!! He let Brett hold him while I ate some lunch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, that may not seem like much. But, a little over a week ago, Logan decided no one (and I mean absolutely no one) was allowed to hold or touch him except for me. He is still sleeping more than usual, but his heart rate looks a lot better.

He is still on oxygen and we have had to adjust it almost everyday, but for now he is still sitting at .5 liter. We have come to terms that he will probably not be coming off of it. However, as long as he is still comfortable (and hopefully happy) we are not bothered by it. In the midst of everything, I was in tears talking to our nurse saying how he didn’t seem happy and it was like he wasn’t here. She said we may have traded happy for content and comfortable, but that it was still good. He wasn’t in pain. That thought had never occurred to me. Logan is my happy baby…the thought of him not smiling never crossed my mind, but it happened. Its made me really think about everything.

This morning I got a beautiful smile though 🙂 Not as big as some, but he is still smiling. 2013-04-16 12.03.00

On the part one post, a Facebook comment said it sounds like this is coming from a weary mom. That is absolutely right. I do sleep at a night when he does, but my body must not be getting a deep sleep because I am exhausted. We went from doing ok, to fearing we didn’t have 48 hours, to now being cautiously optimistic he is ok right now and learning to cherish every moment that much more. Brett goes back to work tomorrow as long as the rest of today and tonight goes well. I am nervous because I am so tired and Logan doesn’t want me to leave his side. I’ll have to be sure everything is within arms reach.

Minor progression of the weekend:

Friday afternoon

Friday afternoon

Saturday early morning

Saturday early morning

Saturday mid morning

Saturday mid morning

Sunday - little bit more hand movment

Sunday – little bit more hand movment

The garden stone we did Sunday <3

The garden stone we did Sunday ❤

Thinker pose Monday morning

Thinker pose Monday morning

12 thoughts on “Rollercoaster- part two

  1. I can’t help but cry when I read these blog’s…..God gave your little boy the best momma ever….you are a amazing woman…..I will keep praying for him and for you also I can’t even begin to imagine how exhausted you must be…..

    Like

  2. I have grown to love this little boy, and have never met him. So thankful he has such great parents.
    Prayers for Logan!!!!

    Like

  3. Glad to see your sweet smiles, baby Logan! Sending lots of love to you and your family! Stay strong! I’ve been wearing my Logan bracelet for you 🙂

    Like

  4. All though we do not know each other my heart breaks for you and the family. I as a mother of a now well but once very sick child can sympathize with you on the exhaustion. I will be praying for you daily and Logan. He is such an angel!

    Like

  5. I think of you, Logan, and your family often. I’m in tears and sobs over here when I read your updates, but I can’t not read. You are so amazing and so full of strength. He is so lucky to have you. I know there isn’t anything I can say, but please just know that I do think of you. The garden stone is so great. I love it!

    Like

  6. You’re doing a great job. Logan is so fortunate to have the loving, supportive family he has. The world knows you’re doing a great job, and most importantly of all Logan does too. Many thoughts, prayers, and well wishes.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s