This week is full of so much meaning. Unlike some expecting parents who go into labor and rush to the hospital, we knew when Logan was coming. And it all started the Tuesday before the 4th of July. It was our 37/38 week appointment and we were scheduled for our last ultrasound. Doc came in and told me I had borderline low fluid, but it wasn’t low enough to take me in right then. We were told to enjoy our holiday and they would see us at 7am on Friday! Enjoy our holiday…I could barely breathe! Friday we were having a baby! We had two days to prepare (even though everything was mostly done)!
The 4th was good, despite the drought and nervousness of setting off fireworks. The 5th was a great day with Lucas. We went to our local Discovery Center, bought him a big dinosaur lego set to build while we were gone, and I made one last trip to L&D because Logan had stopped moving again. Little did we know that was the SMA in play and he was conserving energy for the big day.
So here we are once again, on the Tuesday before the 4th (Tuesday sticks out because its the only day our office does ultrasounds). Last year I was so scared. Logan wasn’t exactly planned and I had no idea how I was going to handle a 5 year old going into Kindergarten and a new baby that I would have to chase around. Little did I know there wouldn’t be any chasing, or birthday party planning. I had no idea that we would experience a love greater than we had ever known, that would redefine us completely.
Words cannot express how much we miss Logan. I am now scared of living 50 years without my baby. Although my passion in finding a cure tends to outdo my fear. I think I say this every post, but sometimes I need a reminder :). We promised him we would fight for him. And fight we will, so no other child or family ever has to feel the devastation caused by SMA.
As you celebrate the 4th, with the beautiful wonders of red, white and blue…be sure to add a splash of green in the days afterward! Happy Independence Day!