Happy 1 year Birthday Logan!

Dear Logan,
Today you would have turned 1 year old. Or maybe 12 months since we did month birthdays 🙂 We went to the zoo, rode the train and fed giraffes. Big Brother Lucas was licked by the giraffe :). We purchased your biggest present ever. Today we paid for your monument. Its going to take a bit to get here because green granite comes from India, but it is going to be perfect. Special just for you. Later in the evening, we came to visit you like usual. There was pizza for dinner and special cupcakes for dessert.
1003831_10151750575883923_2033502762_n
Yours had a train instead of a dinosaur. We know how much you loved riding the train and figured if you were still here with us, we would have had a big train party.

We bought 12 balloons to send to you, but a few didn’t make it :/ 521587_10151750574908923_2056798173_nI hope you loved the ones you did get 🙂 As the day ended and we were back at home, your favorite Little Einstein episode, Melody the Music Pet, was turned on. We watched, sang, and patted our laps to blast off with tears in our eyes.

Today, we celebrated you baby boy. We tried not to think of the “what ifs” or “might have beens”. Instead, we looked at pictures of your smile and some silly faces you made. There were videos we hadn’t watched before, showing your chatty side. (http://youtu.be/fLlDcrvByXw). We reminisced of when we brought you home and all the fun times we had.

Words can’t begin to describe how much we miss you Logan. How hard it was to celebrate your day, but you not physically being here with us. Everyday is difficult without you, but today…today was the hardest so far. And although we miss you so so much, we are so happy you are no longer in pain. That you are free from the body that trapped you, so you can run and play to your hearts content.

I hope you had a good birthday sweet squishy. We love you so much ❤

New born Logan

New born Logan

2012-07-26 16.58.09 2012-07-29 11.30.292012-08-16 11.27.42 2012-08-31 08.19.102012-09-15 16.40.132012-09-28 13.11.582012-10-20 08.07.23 2012-10-22 17.12.102012-11-18 14.16.59 2012-12-22 08.08.102012-12-25 17.21.442013-01-07 15.04.172013-01-08 08.49.13 2013-01-10 18.19.14 2013-01-18 14.38.322013-01-19 13.40.25 2013-02-13 14.40.26 2013-02-21 20.32.452013-02-24 18.53.42 2013-03-06 17.46.11 2013-03-06 18.19.482013-03-16 13.11.39-1 2013-04-06 12.08.07 2013-04-07 13.29.152013-04-10 08.00.12 2013-04-10 16.24.45 2013-04-19 16.13.23 2013-04-26 10.57.392013-04-28 15.03.46 2013-05-06 19.19.24 2013-05-07 20.12.10 2013-05-09 13.03.00544398_10151750576703923_969430059_n 970575_10151750578543923_1038974516_n 1001341_10151750576373923_1426146377_n

A huge thank you to the July 12 moms for Lucas' wonderful big brother present

A huge thank you to the July 12 moms for Lucas’ wonderful big brother present

Never goodbye...just see you later <3

Never goodbye…just see you later ❤

3 thoughts on “Happy 1 year Birthday Logan!

  1. July 2012 BBC mama here- Tia, I couldn’t bring myself to write on the 6th. It’s not that I wasn’t thinking about you and about Logan. I was. From the minute I woke up to the minute I laid down with my own July 2012 baby to nurse and end our day (and begin our night!)- I thought of you and of Logan all day. Everything I did that day or everything my LO did that day brought to mind your pain and your loss. There are just NO words that are adequate. None whatsoever. We still miss you on the board and we still grieve for Logan and for what you are going through. The July 2012 Facebook group does to as much if not more than the original BBC group. We miss you. We miss Logan. We think about him and about you a LOT. We wore our green on the 6th, we did balloons and we did bubbles….it’s never enough. I really appreciate that you still do updates, even if they do break my heart. It helps to know how your family is doing after becoming to attached to everyone through your words and updates during Logan’s struggle. I have told more people about SMA since the last time I posted. I always encourage them to check out Logan’s pages both on WordPress and on Facebook. Such a special little boy and STILL touching new people’s lives, even after he’s no longer physically here with us. I just wish there were more I could do. Just know that I think of you so very often and I want to do more, but haven’t figured out how or what…YET. Thank you for always reminding me to be a better mama and to cherish every moment. Much love, always, sweet, sweet, brave, strong mama.

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  2. Was so heartbroken after reading your previous post and then seeing the sequence of the photos here, I can’t imagine your loss or pain. May God make it easier for you.

    I was reading a prayer that reminded me of you and your grief today. I know we’re of different faiths but I still wanted to go ahead and share. Please scroll down on the page to see the English translation. I pray again that God makes your grief lighter.

    http://www.alhudapk.com/duas.html?name=DUA-030236-AH-Masnoon-Allahumma%20Inni%20%27Abduka.php

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  3. God bless you momma! I am one of the July 2012 moms in your bbc group who has followed your story and just read your post tonight. I just wanted to comment as a fellow July momma that you are an amazing woman for all the work your doing for your beautiful angel!!! You give me inspiration and make me want to hug my LO a little tighter tonight and not take one second for granted. God works in weird ways sometimes and know that this is your temporary home and you WILL see that beautiful baby boy again. Thank u so much for sharing your inspirational story with all of us July 2012 mommas and know that u have lots of friends who are always here to listen if u want to post on our group wall… You will always be a part of our group and we love getting your updates.
    Love and hugs always! I will keep u and your beautiful family in my prayers!
    -Jackie

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