Two years ago this morning, our beautiful Logan boy took his last breath and peacefully left this world.
Facebook has a relatively new feature called “On This Day”. Most days I find it interesting and even entertaining. This past week has been hard seeing the memories and I was really dreading today’s update. However, I was astonished. There were so many comments, pictures and shares in my memory thread of those comforting us in our time of great loss. To be reminded of how many lives Logan touched was so uplifting.
Two years brings a lot of changes. Lucas growing older, Claudia being born and celebrating her first birthday (not to mention all the milestones we were unable to celebrate the same way with Logan), and learning how to balance in life in the aftermath of loss. I feel we are in a very awkward phase of grieving. I know, awkward is not necessarily a word that comes to mind when discussing death, but I feel it is the only appropriate term to describe this phase. My heart still hurts on a daily basis, but I am starting to see more happiness than sadness. I’m becoming more involved in Lucas’ school and figuring out play dates for Claudia. These events take precedent on a daily basis and some days that is hard. Some days I feel like I’m failing Logan for not growing his foundation more and in reality having to reign it in some.
Today has reminded me of how much an impact Logan has had. The impact he made on us and this world is more than we could ever imagine. He accomplished something in his life that I may never do, and that’s ok. This was one of his mission’s and he carried it out successfully.
There will forever be a Logan shaped hole in our hearts. For every smile, there will be a tear as our hearts ache he is not physically here to enjoy every moment with us. However, the memories we have and will share with Claudia help keep a piece of him with us.
As you carry on with your day, be sure to reach out and say hi to an old friend you haven’t seen in a long time. Give a friendly smile to the barista that looks stressed out from doing 10 coffee orders at one time. Give your kids/spouse an extra hug. Let people know how much they mean to you today.
*For updates on us and the foundation, check out the blog posted last night*
Photo bomb time 🙂