The past week has been full of ups and downs. As I sit here typing this (and thinking about the Easter post I need to do), I’m watching Logan nap while hooked up to his feeding pump. He was watching his evening edition of Little Einsteins to keep him distracted. (Check out the jammies the Easter bunny brought! 😉 )
We have had to work harder than usual to make sure Logan is happy and comfortable. We have a few pain meds on hand in case he cries out in pain. We are figuring out if it is reflux or nerve pain. There have been discussions of trying to get a hold of donor milk from Kansas City for Logan to use and just supplement with formula if needed. Zantac isn’t working well and prilosec is very expensive apparently. I am hoping to hear tomorrow about a new antacid though.
We had to use the oxygen machine more than I would have liked, but it helped him sleep. Last Tuesday we had to use the oxygen machine during two naps and all night. His oxygen was in the mid to upper 80’s and just would not come back up. I sat with tears in my eyes while I watched him sleep thinking of how unfair this is and why does this have to happen to my sweet baby boy.
Wednesday morning Logan was drinking from his bottle and it took him over 10 min to drink half an ounce. He didn’t act hungry or fussy so I just let him be for a bit. Then suddenly all of these thoughts came to mind. I realized the past several days he hasn’t sucked his pacifier but rather it sat in his mouth. He wanted it there, but it was like he couldn’t suck on it. I looked at the bottle and thought of how he hadn’t been eating as much recently. And then it hit me…he is losing (or rather has lost) his suck. In that moment, as Brett and I realized it, devastation set in. I couldn’t even think. I just sat and stared at Logan while he was watching an episode of Little Einsteins. Then he laughed and cooed at the screen and I smiled to myself. In the midst of this happening, he is still enjoying himself. Starting that morning, he has been completely on pump feedings aside from an early morning bottle if he feels the need to suck.
Something amazing happened on Wednesday night though. We were in a stressful situation that we removed ourselves from. As I mentioned up above, Logan was on oxygen the night before and his levels stayed around 97. Wednesday night, he didn’t need it. In fact, his levels were 96/97 all night with no assistance! Thursday he did great and tolerated his feeds from the pump really well!
Since then, his stats have looked really good. Its amazing, this time last week I told a few close friends that I was fairly confident he would turn 9 months , but I felt we would be extremely fortunate if he reached 10. Anything can happen tomorrow, but he is happy, tolerating his feeds well and his oxygen hasn’t dipped once since Tuesday and being on the oxygen machine.
Saturday we celebrate 9 months. I’m not sure what we will do. I’m hoping the weather will be nice though. Sometimes I can’t believe we have made it as far as we have. Baby boy has some fight in him, that is for sure!